Unlocking independence

When it comes to children and young people, the only constant is change, especially when it comes to their growing capabilities. It can be a challenge for parents and carers to always match their expectations to the realities of what children can do for themselves, and what they can contribute to the family and beyond it.

Likewise for a child, it can be all too easy to get stuck relying on mum and dad for certain things long after they need to, or they may go the other way and end up battling with them to have their growing sense of independence recognised – especially as teens.

This is one of the multitude of reasons why for many families boarding works so well. It gives children the opportunity to rise to challenges and discover what they are capable of more independently, while still in a safe and nurturing environment.

Resilience and Mental toughness

At Shaftesbury School helping our boarders develop their independence is one of the key tenets of our approach, and for that reason we set expectations high. So rather than levelling the path ahead of them, we know it is so important to offer students both opportunities and challenges.

While our staff are always on hand with guidance and support, we aren’t constantly reminding students and chivvying them along. As such children will inevitably make mistakes along the way, but we know that being the best you can be doesn’t mean getting things right the first time – or even the second, third or tenth time. It means trying your best, being prepared to fail and falter, but coming back and trying again.

The foundation for mental resilience ought not to be adversity – but rather the many small challenges overcome in a supportive environment which can prepare children for the bigger challenges they will inevitably face in adult life.

Taking responsibility

We want our students to take responsibility – for their belongings, for their environment, for their learning, and for each other –while being bolstered by our school structures and guidance and support from teachers and pastoral staff.

Through our curriculum we want to help children to be curious, to enquire, think and learn, rather than memorise designated facts.  And we know that boarding allows students to continue learning outside of the classroom, from staff and other students, and as they themselves step up to be role models to their peers and younger children.

Likewise, our co-curricular offer, which includes plenty of opportunity to become involved with the local community, through a sports team, drama club or Army Cadets for example, encourages our boarders to challenge themselves to try new things and build their confidence.

And throughout the year we will have presentations by the local police, drug and alcohol services, nutritionists and internet safety officers equipping young people with the knowledge and guidance they need to make safe decisions.

Building confidence

Seeing new boarders who have arrived with trepidation and doubt blossom with confidence as they begin to learn how capable, mature and resourceful they really are is one of the highlights of our work at Shaftesbury School.

We know that becoming a boarder and leaving your home and family for chunks of the year can feel quite overwhelming – even intimidating. But inevitably what follows is the enormous boost to self-esteem and confidence that comes with overcoming that initial hesitancy.

Children and young people who learn to push through something difficult in life, to face a fear or do something novel and alien, step forward from those moments with a deeper reserve of confidence which will stand them in good stead for the rest of their lives. We’ve seen for ourselves in the capable, considered, mature, determined and balanced and resilient young people who leave our boarding house at the end of their secondary school education.

Confidence, self- reliance and independence – these are among many character traits that boarding at Shaftesbury School can help unlock.